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托福独立写作高分段评分标准解读 作文冲刺25+要从基础入手
托福独立写作高分段评分标准介绍
5分标准：
An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following:
Effectively addresses the topic and task
Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplification, and/or details
Displays unity, progression, and coherence
Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors
4分标准：
An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following:
Effectively addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated
Is well generally organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplification, and/or details
Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression or unclear connections
Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and range of vocabulary, though it may have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form, or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning.
3分标准：
An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following:
Addresses the topic and task well using somewhat developed explanations, exemplification, and/or details
Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though connections of ideas may be occasionally obscured
May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning.
May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary
托福独立写作高分段评分标准解读
看了上面的评分标准，不难发现针对托福独立写作，主要就是依据四个标准进行打分：
1. 切题
一般来说，独立写作完全跑题的情况很少，但是在审题时，有些同学们可能会不完整地理解题干问题，忽略了关键的定义，解释，或者逻辑关系。面对多样的独立写作出题，同学们一定要把握核心的审题视角，从“建议行为类”“现象事实”2类经典题型出发，发散式地把握“绝对类”“对比类”“逻辑关系类”等题型的立论方法;另一方面，很多考生在论证展开时所采用的论据，比较容易出现跟主题关联性不大的情况，即局部答非所问的现象，从而影响了得分。
2. 结构
这一点的关键在于文章论证的展开，是否提供了大量的细节和例子来支持观点，而非泛泛而谈地说理。那么，如何开展论证呢?小站君在这里给同学们一些经典的方法：
例证法：选用一些“经历”“事实”进行合理地分析展开。
细节分析法：“例子不够，细节来凑”。同学们一定有过没有例子可举的情况，那么，这时候就应该应用“总——分”思维，对主题句或者理论部分进行层层具像化地分析，所谓 “细节尽头显真实”。尽头很难达到，但同学们可以努力对分论点进行至少2～3层的递进分析，分论点的合理性必会有所提升。
排比举例：分论点概念太宽泛? 同学们可以采用列举平行的2～4个例子分别展开，保持列举时时句式的相似性，加强气势和论证效果。
对比法：论证的“灵丹妙药”，玩转“非正面对比”和“正面对比”。
因果法：明确推论的起点和终点，在推论时“动之以情，晓之以理”，结合案例细节开展连续性的归纳论证，并使用归纳性的逻辑联结词串联层层递推的内容，使得段落论证有力，逻辑连贯。
3. 连贯
内容连贯一致的文章通常全文围绕中心论点展开，而不会论据自相矛盾，也不会重复论证，有时候通过一些表示因果、先后、递进的关系连词可以起到粘合剂段落的作用，加强文章的整体性和连贯性。
4. 语言
托福考试终究是语言考试，最终还是要考查考生的语言运用能力，但是要注意的是，并不是要求考生通篇都用难词偏语长句，而是要会变化着用一些美国人常用的语句把自己的想法表达清楚，所以建议考生尽量多阅读native speaker创作的议论文/范文和模仿英文原版材料，这样写出来的文章才能够原汁原味。
托福写作范文：要想取得成功必须接受新观点
2016年托福写作真题题目：
6月18日托福独立写作真题回顾
To be a successful person, one must be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind. (160618大陆)
6月18日托福独立写作点睛：
题目大意：要想取得成功，人们必须要接受新的观点并且愿意改变自己原有的观点。此题目选择同意比较好写，在去想分论点时，有两种方式可以用：第一种就是去想why, 理由一：接受新的观点可以更好地适应变化的环境;理由二，接受新的观点可以与别人建立良好的关系。第二种去拆分举例，拆分职业： 第一种职业IT 行业的人;第二种职业老师。
6月18日托福写作真题-独立写作
此次试题出现了A,B卷
A: A/D: To be a successful person, one must open up to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind.
B: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: people should be open to new ideas and change his or her mind to be successful.
A卷题目是绝对词类话题;B卷题目为建议类话题/二选一话题). 注意区别处理这两类题目。
以A卷题目为例：处理此类文章需要弱化绝对词，并给出其他合理的方式。关于此题，可以按以下方式组织文章：1)开头段-主题段一(去绝对词做让步段处理，写我方的好处)-主题段二(要成功的因素1)-主题段三(要成功的因素2)-结尾段;2)开头段-主题段一(优点一)-主题段二(优点二)-主题段三(优点三)-结尾段(小让步+综合其他可以使人成功的因素)。
托福写作模板及参考答案：
托福写作范文参考一:
6月18日托福独立写作范文如下：
Under the current society full of intense competitions, how to achieve success has never failed to arouse deep concern and interest among the general public. Thereof, a good deal of accomplished businessmen and elites are strong believers of the claim that to be a successful person, one must be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind.Towards such a complicated issue, I am in favor of the above claim for the following reasons.
In the first place, being receptive to new ideas can help people to better adapt to the constantly changing environment and thus become successful. As is common sense, no matter what fields or areas you are engaged in, change has become the perpetual topic, which means that what you held firmly onto before may become outdated and even misleading overnight. In other words, only those people with open mind towards new things can keep pace with the changes of time and are more likely to achieve success. By contrast, rejecting any new ideas and never changing one's mind, people will be gradually surpassed or even replaced by other competitors. A good case in point is the collapse of Nokia Company, the once most famous cell phone brand. On account of showing no acceptance to the new operating system Android, the Nokia has announced bankruptcy and has been acquired by Microsoft Company. The same logic can apply to any individuals who are stubborn.
Besides that, embracing new ideas can help people to build harmonious rapport with more people, leading to the higher likelihood of becoming successful. More scrutiny has made it conspicuous that an attitude of open-mindedness is strongly correlated to one's popularity among others, especially in a work team. The underlying reason is that anyone who has a willingness to listen to new thoughts tends to leave a good impression and thereof gains help or assistance from others when faced with troubles in the path to success. Also, being open-minded helps you work through interpersonal or intra-team conflicts that arise when people work in close quarters. By contrast, insisting on one' own view stubbornly usually not only build a barrier for establishing the friendship but also serves as the origin of quarrel or conflicts with other people. Put it another way, people without a spirit of listening and cooperation have difficulty in completing any projects, let alone, become successful.
Indeed, accepting new ideas may make people feel uncomfortable, because they are forced to get out their comfort zone. However, the above reasoning does not bear deep analysis. To illustrate, it is an indisputable fact that success relies on nothing but innovation driven by constantly taking in original and creative ideas and thoughts. Consequently, factoring what has been mentioned above, we can conclude that showing acceptance to new ideas and changing one's mind accordingly are of great necessity for the sake of achieving success.
托福写作写作参考二:
Everyone is longing for success; therefore, everyone eagerly searches for every method to reach that end. Having an inclusive and open would definitely serve as a good panacea for everyone who wants to achieve something in the life. Nevertheless, it is not the only way toward one’s heyday, for one’s success derives from the combined factors, like tenacity and resilience.
Admittedly, a man with an open mind for new ideas is half way for success, for these innovative ideas and philosophies offer one with another outlook when facing a deadlock or dilemma. What’s the most important, new idea brings about creation to our life. The modern society has witnessed the rapid and pervasive changes of technologies along with subtle social reforms. It is the new ideas from other people and other places that lead James Dyson, the inventor if G-force vacuum cleaner, to a great success; it is embracing the new method from the excellent athletes that helps Jimmy Li create his special set “Jimmy Li Jump”.Furthermore, changing our mind and listening to the new ideas from others is conducive to cooperate with other people. A man cannot succeed without the assistance from others. An open mind for new ideas and thoughts are easy for people to share different ideas, therefore, it is beneficial for cooperating within certain groups or teams. A cooperative people would certainly get more help, thus to succeed in a more earlier way. However, an open mind for outside ideas is surely the only way for one to succeed, for there are a lot of other people gaining success through other ways!
Being tenacious and persistent represent a continuous effort in one’s specific career. The secret to happiness is hard work and effort, not “quick-fixes”. Great ideas only cannot guarantee one’s efforts and actions. Only by the down-to-earth efforts and hard work can the final success gained! If James Dyson did not experiment for over 5200 times after he got a new idea from others, we would not have witnessed the birth of this new and highly efficient vacuum cleaner. Therefore, tenacity and persistence provide a sure way to one’s success.
Furthermore, a positive and optimistic attitude towards failure can also serve as a facilitator for one’s success. A lot of people failed because they feared the new challenges or feared to fail again. People with negative attitudes may be loath to take action even if they embrace new ideas from others. A positive mindset can serve as a catalyst for one’s success. If James Dyson didn’t hold hopes for his production promotion and give up during his experiment, we would have seen his products prevail the global market. Thus, a sound mindset and positive attitude propels one to success.
In a nutshell, a successful person is not made just in one day. A lot of factors contribute to a successful people, like new ideas, tenacity and a positive mind, to name just a few. Only in this way can a person expect success as soon as possible!
托福写作范文：城市领导如何保障城市繁荣
2016年托福写作真题题目：
5月22日托福独立写作真题
As the leader of a city, what would you doto ensure the prosperity and success of the city?
A. creating job opportunities for theunemployed;
B. lowering food price;
C. providing affordable housing
5月22日托福独立写作范文(新东方 赵波)
题目大意：作为一个城市的领导想要保障城市的繁荣，要做以下三项：为失业人员提供就业机会，降低食物价格，提供经济适用房。波波建议选择为失业人员提供工作，证明其重要性，然后另外一段将两个选项的不必要性阐述明白。
托福写作模板及参考答案：
托福写作范文参考一:
In a society changing amazingly, that how to gurantee the prosperity and success of a city， the common target of all citizens，has always been brought under the spotlight of the massive media. When talking about which factor plays the most crucial role in ensuring city's smooth development, among creating job vacancy, lowering food price or adjusting housing price, people’s notion varies from one to another. From my perspective, providing job opportunities for the unemployed is the best choice.
In the first instance, offering job vacancies to the laid-offs will not only guarantee the social security and safety but also strengthen the purchasing power of the public. For one thing, given the indisputable fact that the unemployed without any income are likely to commit crimes such as theft of wallets or burglaries due to lack of daily necessities, it is self-evident that the greater the number of laid-offs is, the more unstable our society will become. Therefore, after satisfying their basic needs of life with the income from the job offered by the government, they will no longer be a threat to the stability of the whole society, which is the solid foundation for social progress and prosperity. For another, as long as citizens with jobs have more free disposable money and thus possess stronger purchasing monitory power, the various industries will be stimulated and propelled to a large extent. To be specific, with the accruing wealth, an increasing number of people will purchase a private car to commute to their office, with the result that the whole industry of automobiles will experience a booming period. The same logic can also be true of other industries and fields.
Furthermore, there are obvious disadvantages of the other two policies, lowering the food price and making the price of house affordable. Despite the fact that keeping the food price low and providing affordable housing will lessen the financial burden of the dwellers in the city in a short term, these two practices would hinder the future success of the whole society. To illustrate, the low price of food will definitely decrease the income of food producers, especially the farmers who support their family by selling what they plant and raise. As a result, they are likely to have great difficulty in making their ends meet, thus ending up becoming homeless or jobless. Also, in a long run, increasing housing affordability will put a damper on the citizens’ passion for creating wealth and thus decrease the dynamics of the whole society. Specifically speaking, when the price is so cheap that nearly everyone can afford it with ease, no one will work hard any more.
In a nutshell, I am convinced that the most effective and efficient way to boom a city is to create more job opportunities for the jobless.
托福写作写作参考二:
All governments on the planet engage in finding the best methods to develop their country into a more powerful nation with abundant resources. These methods are supposed to cover as many people as possible and with no doubt, be effective enough to bring about profits as soon as possible. Among all the approaches that are aiming at advancing a country, I firmly believe that the issues associated with food is more important and should be paid more attention to by countries.
First of all, under no circumstances can human live without food supply, which is the premise of all human activities. As a result, solving the problems in agriculture and the availability of food to all people is an essential factor in the development of a country. When people have rice to eat, they have more energy to work in the fields; when people are supplied with meat, they are more passionate in manufacturing crafts and tools; when people have cheaper fruits on the markets, they become more willing to serve his customers at work; when people have easier access to clothes, they are more inspired in doing researches and experiments. No progress can be made with hungry stomachs.
Second, it is easier to advance agriculture than to create more job positions for unemployed workers. Increasing agricultural production depend largely on good command of planting or farming knowledge and technology. For the knowledge aspect, information can be obtained through diverse channels like books, magazines and the internet, where information is not only authorized but also comprehensive. For the technology aspect, the governments can either invest in researches in crop properties or genetic modification or purchase equipment or technology from those few highly developed countries who fulfill the responsibility to help more other countries. Nonetheless, creating work opportunities is not that easy, since companies, either state owned or privately owned, have certain precise requirement for the number of workers according to the types of business they undertake and current situation of the market.
Finally, promoting the food industry benefit more people than affordable housing can do. As we have discussed above, food is needed by everybody and better agricultural conditions make a so great difference that it extends how far a government can go. In contrast, few people need houses, especially in this modernized society, as a direct consequence of building more housing apartments, most individuals already possess a house to live in, where means whether the houses are affordable or not has little or no influence on the overall development of the country.
To sum up, I believe what we eat means more than what we do and where we live. The leaders of all countries should focus more on the improvement of food availability and more and more people will live a happier life.
